Yes, Yes

The book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" states that to win someone to your way of thinking, start with questions to which the other person will answer "yes." Another book I read recently, "Thinking, Fast and Slow," has some interesting research on this idea from a psychological perspective and how our decisions are influenced by so many subtle cues around us.  This technique of starting with small "yes"s is used by anyone from people selling stuff, to candidates running for president of the United States.

I'll sometimes try this with the kids, although Arilyn doesn't fall for it as much anymore. When I start asking questions, she catches on and will just say, "I don't know." It was actually really funny the other day when she used this technique with Micah, trying to convince him we should have oatmeal instead of pancakes for breakfast:

• Arilyn: Micah, do you remember when we had instant oatmeal this week?
• Micah: Yea.
• Arilyn: Did you get to put lots of raisins in it? Did you like lots of raisins?
• Micah: Yeah!

I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I witnessed this going on. She's a little too smart for her own good.

I find I usually use this when it's clean up time. "Are these your shoes? Did you play with them today? Is it your job to put them away?"

Not a sure-fire technique (nothing ever is), but I do find it works sometimes.