Father's Day Interview

This morning for Father's Day, I decided to ask my dad a few questions about his experience as a father. I wanted to record some of his thoughts and perspective for posterity. I figured I better start interviewing him now before he gets old and senile :). I was typing as we talked, so I missed some things, but I tried to piece together my notes.

What is your favorite part of being a dad?
Playing with my children and grandchildren. Seeing my children grow and being parents.

What's something you did as a dad that worked well?
I tried to instill in them my thoughts and feelings about good entertainment. I tried to limit TV and video games; I really didn't like them and I didn’t put up with them a lot. Looking back now, I think it worked out pretty well, as none of the kids are really hooked on video games or TV.
I taught them to work through example.
The nickel jar was a pretty good idea. It worked for 4 out of the 5 kids. [The nickel jar was a system where each kid had a jar, and when we did something good, we got a nickel (or a dime if it was extra good!). If we did something bad, we got a penny in the jar, which meant we'd lose a nickel. At some point, we got to count the change, subtract out the pennies, and then buy something with whatever we'd gained.]

What advice would you give to you a new/young dad?
“This too will pass” Hang in there. Don’t get angry with the crying and the fussing. Especially when they won’t listen to you, it’s hard. President Hinckley said not to spank children, and after I heard that, I really tried to live it.
Just them love them. Realize that they will grow up. Anything you do will influence them.
Make the conscience decision to enjoy the good times and bad times. There as a time when the older kids were really young and we were getting ready to go on a long road trip. I thought, "I'm not sure I can do this [put up with the whining, etc]." I then realized that I had a decision to make, and I could choose to enjoy the trip, so I did. A lot of life is just making a decision and sticking them them.
[From mom] Don’t forget to relish them. They grow up so fast. Pause and consider what an incredible experience this is. Relish the not so fun stuff as well. It’s a great experience in the bucket of life, and it passes quickly.

What advice would you to a father of older children?
Get them involved in music. Music was a very significant part of molding discipline and the group of friends of all the kids. A lot of positive things came from those skills and friendships. Encourage music from a young age.
Love kids unconditionally.
Teach the gospel. It is easy to forget about the foundation that the church provides. The things that the church demands from people are the things that parents are trying to teach. Think of paragraph seven in the family proclamation. (two sentences ending with "wholesome recreational activities"). Remember to smile, laugh, play, and create memories.

What would you different if you could do it over again?
I would have tried to laugh together more. Do more family entertainment and create memories. We did a good job with annual vacations, but could have done more.


At the end, my dad asked me about my perspective of his parenting, and what I learned from him. The first thing I said was that they helped instill in me confidence that I could do whatever I put my mind to. They told me I could do anything, and I really believed that, and it helped me achieve. I also appreciated the trust and freedom they gave me to make choices/mistakes.
I learned a lot from my dad's example of work and service. I told my dad of a time at church when one of my young men's leaders was describing a man who exemplified priesthood service. A man who came early, stayed late, and was always willing to volunteer. After describing this person, he then identified the man as my dad. I was really proud to be his son at that moment.

And of course, you can't forget another piece of advice he gave me, that still helps me regularly: "Now son, if ever need to wipe your fingers, and you don't have a napkin, just use the top of your sock."

Thanks for your great example, dad. I love you.