Weekly Planning

For a while, Sadie and I were pretty good at having a planning session each week. Then when numero tres came along and classes were heating up for Sadie, we just didn't make it a priority. We probably still get to it about once a month, so I guess I'm still qualified to write about it.

We have topics we always talk about (kids, finances, highlights from the week), but most of our conversation focuses on a different topic each time. We decided on areas that were important to us, and rotate through them: financial, marriage, family, spiritual, home, fun activities, social, and career. For each subject, we discuss how things are going and make short-term and long-term goals, and review plans.

One that really worked out well for us was the fun activities. In past years, we planned out fun activities to do as a family each month. It gave us something to look forward to and helped us have balance. We've also planned service activities to do as a family.

Kid's Reality

Oops, I forgot to write yesterday! During Sadie's break from school, we've been doing kids' bedtime together, and as you might imagine, it's been going smoother. Where things a little easier, I haven't felt as much need to think about my parenting, so this blog hasn't been on my mind.

Anyways, lately I've been thinking about something I heard another dad say awhile back. He said one thing he's learned as a dad is that kids are in their own world, and often their world doesn't overlap with reality. They're still developing listening skills and it isn't realistic to expect them to always pick up on everything you say. It's like a Venn Diagram:

Remembering this has helped me have more patience when it seems like talking to my kids is like talking to a wall. 

Swimming blind

So I was about to go to bed and I realized I hadn't blogged this week yet! With the Olympics going on and everything, I thought I post a link to a story about Michael Phelps.
In the book I listened to last year, The Power of Habit, the author recounts the story of when Phelps won a gold medal in Beijing after his googles had filled with water. He talks about how his routines and habits helped him stay calm and overcome the challenge of swimming blind. Click the link, there are some good takeaways.

Smart Trust

Galileo said, "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." I try to incorporate this principle in my life, especially when it comes to parenting. Our vacation to Alaska was no exception (see Sadie's blog for a recap of the fun!), and Sadie and I talked a lot about what we could learn from Eric and Angie. They are far from ignorant, so we had a lot to talk about.

Among other things, Sadie and I talked about trust. How can we create an environment where our children feel trusted and empowered? We want to help them develop confidence, yet they still need so much help from us.

One crazy example we observed is our little nephew Paxson (4 years old) who was literally riding circles around me on his dirt bike and doing jumps. Wow, a four-year-old on a dirt bike; who woulda thought? Eric starts them early (age three), and teaches them the basics and sets clear guidelines.

This reminds me of a concept called Smart Trust in the book The Speed of Trust, by Stephen M.R. Covey (son of the famous Stephen Covey). Covey uses a 2x2 matrix to explain four quadrants of trust, with Propensity to Trust on one axis and Analysis on the other. The quadrants are Gullibility, Judgment, Indecision, and Suspicion. Judgment is the ideal quadrant, with high propensity to trust and high analysis. Covey states that the number one responsibility of all leaders (and I might add parents) is to inspire trust.

So how do we extend smart trust to our four-year-old? Well, we didn't go out and buy a dirt bike (not yet at least :)), so we started with something a little closer to home: bedtime. We (it was Sadie's idea) put together a bedtime basket for Arilyn, and put everything in it that she needs (toothbrush, head band, and every other thing she's ever used to delay bedtime). We told her she could do her bedtime basket anytime she wanted, and the earlier she did it, the more quiet time she gets. Well, so far it has worked really well. She loves it. Tonight she rushed to do her bedtime basket as soon as dinner was over. Who knows how long this will keep up? We can at least celebrate for this week.