Play Like a Champion Today

I have a handful of different ideas here that I'm going to try to pull together. My thoughts are a little scattered, but hopefully they all make sense :).

Over the last couple weeks, there have been a few times where I feel like I've acted beneath the sacred calling of fatherhood. Tuesday of this week I sat down, studied, and pondered about how I could do a better job of parenting the way I'd like to parent, especially during bedtime.

The biggest thing on my mind was the priesthood blessing I would be giving Arilyn the next night, before she started school on Thursday. I wanted to be sure I felt good about my relationship with the kids and especially with the Spirit before I gave her a blessing.

I felt I needed a physical reminder of the need to maintain both of those relationships. As I parent, I need to remember that I hold the priesthood and that maintaining the Spirit of Christ in my home is a priority. I thought of the Play Like a Champion Today sign (maybe it's in Rudy?) famous in the Notre Dame football program. As the story goes, players touch the sign on their way out from the locker room before each game.

If it works for football, it can work for parenting, right? Well here's what I came up with:

Parent Like a Priesthood Holder today

Each night before bedtime this week, I've put my hand in the sign, to remember that the same hands I use to parent, are also laid on a child's head to give a blessing. The same mouth I use to parent is the same mouth that pronounces blessings. It has two scriptures on it - James 3:10 and Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-44. Seeing the scriptures and touching the sign has helped me remember my vision of parenting.

Going off on a tangent here - I'll try to bring it back, don't worry. I was discussing this a little with Jonathan (thanks for being my #1 reader bro!) this week. I lent him my Power of Habit audiobook, which discusses the concept of the habit loop: cue, routine, reward. The author uses the habit loop to illustrate that habits are changed when we change the routine, but keep the same cue and reward. Jonathan and I were sharing ideas about how this applies to parenting.

So what is the habit loop I'm trying to change? The cue can be something like Micah refusing to get his diaper on and/or kicking me in the face when I'm trying to do so. The routine - I use some kind of force (verbal or physical) to assert myself. The reward I'm seeking is control and respect - but really it comes down to power. The use of force does indeed provide that, although not in the way that I'd like.

By remembering that I hold the priesthood and acting worthy of it, I can obtain the same reward (power) from the same cues. I can be rewarded knowing that I maintain the ability to exercise priesthood power to bless my family. The routine I implement needs to be different, and clarifying the reward I'm seeking makes that easier to do.